29 December 2010

Two days left of 2010....

"if i could write you a song to make you fall in love, I'd already have you up under my arms" Mike Posner.
He wrote me a song, made me fall in love & broke my heart.

This year has been a roller-coaster of a journey, highs, lows & moments where I thought it was falling upside-down. 
I met a guy, fell in love with him, had my heart broken by him, remained best friends with him, but still totally, head over heels in love with him. It's the love where he is my BEST FRIEND, and my world. He makes me who I am and has changed me. He has taught me to love myself, respect myself and work hard to build a future for myself.

I also celebrated my 18th birthday. This was one of the most difficult days of my life, sure, I got the car, the piece of jewelery to commemorate the day. But my father wasn't there. He hasn't been here for 8 years now, but it became so much more apparent when no one took me to one side to give me the 'you're an adult now' lecture. He wasn't there to take me out in my car, or to complain to me for coming in to late. It hurts, more now than it ever has. I thought I was ready to say goodbye, but I realise now that I am not....

I'm updating my blog from Cairo, Egypt, I'm not actually meant to be here, I was meant to go home on the 24th December, but due to the snow, I stayed. This meant that I missed Christmas with my family, and my first Christmas with 'him'. It was a hard experience, one that made me cherish my grandma, mother and brother a lot more than I ever have done before. 
I enjoyed Christmas over here, but I missed my mum, and everyone. And I'll never get to know how it felt to spend your first Christmas with the person whom you love with all your heart...we'll always remember it as the first one apart, the most hardest, heartbreak thing I've ever done.

I don't really have much else to say, apart from the fact that I am ill, I need some ENGLISH tea and a big cuddle. I miss home, I miss Kyle and I miss normality. I actually miss working, and for me to say that, means a lot.


  1. whatever happens is what is supposed to happen in the first place

    remember that :)

  2. I'm sorry you're homesick, Jen! I hope you have fun tonight, I love you :)